TO MAKE UP FOR IT, HAVE SOME GAY STUFF WHILE I'M TRYING TO IGNORE MY JAPANESE HOMEWORK! THIS IS A QUICK TRANSLATION SO IF THERE ARE ANY MISTAKES, BEAR WITH ME. I HAVE YET TO PLAY THE GAME, SO I'M NOT 100% SURE IF I GOT EVERY NAME/ETC RIGHT AND WHY BB SPEAKS SO FAST SOB
NO CAPSLOCK FOR OBVIOUS REASONS
B: Shouldn't you take your sunglasses off?
K: Ah. So that's why it was so dark in here.
K: Boss? It's you, Snake?
B: So it's finished, huh?
B: This room.
K: Ah, sauna?
B: It's so not like you...
B: Isn't it a bit too... extravagant? To have a sauna in our Mother Base?
K: Well, you were the one who approved it?
B: I changed my mind while I was on a mission. Isn't it a bit too costy?
K: We talked about this before, right? It should be pretty economical if we use filtered ocean water and think about our electricity expenses.
K: And we have some soliders from Finland, I think it might boost their morale a bit.
K: Wanna use some soap?
K: This sauna is quite popular. You wait till it gets hot, then you pour water, which creates steam. It's like one of 'em Finnish saunas! 20 people can get in.
B: Kaz. I heard someone got injured here.
K: Hmm? Oh, that was barely a bruise...
B: And he was recovering from it for a month? Who was it?
B: You were here when it happened?
K: Aaaah. Yeah. He suddenly slipped. Probably on soap.
B: Slipped. That guy, huh. The one who has a posture of a tank, huh. Slipped.
K: Yeah. He was so heavy that when he fell, the seagulls on the top of our Mother Base went flying.
K: Maybe he just felt dizzy. He was in a sauna, after all.
B: Sauna, huh.
B: Is there anything you want to tell me?
K: Ah, yeah. Snake... you going inside?
B: Will you show me around?
K: Just look at this steam.
B: There... there's an injury on the inside of your thigh.
K: W-what are you looking at.
B: At you, at your whole body. Well... Besides that part you're hiding with that towel.
B: Kaz, so...
K: So! What do you think about this sauna, isn't it something?
B: Yeah. It's quite refreshing, compared to that dry tropical weather.
B: So... Kaz.
K: Yeah, what?
B: What's with these leaves?
K: Vihta. Tied up leaves from a Japanese white birch.
K: You use it to strike your body. It stimulates the blood circulation. Revigorates you.
B: Huuuh. Let me try it.
K: Sure thing.
B: Give me it.
B: Huuh. This is nice.
K: Geez, you use so much strength, Snake.
B: So, Kaz. Show me your back.
K: ... Huh? My back?
B: Yeah. Stand up and turn around.
K: W-Why? W-What, Snake?
B: Take off your towel.
K: S-Snake? Where are you touching me?
B: You even have scars on your ass. As if someone clawed at it...
K: I-Isn't this enough?
B: No. Show me more. Turn around.
B: Turn around.
B: Kaz. Are you popular?
K: ... I suppose so.
K: Ah, Snake? Where are you touching me?
B: Kaz. That.
K: Ah, oh...
B: Hey, do you remember?
B: That time, when just we met. You asked me how many women I had in MSF.
B: Or was it, how many women I had that you could make yours?
K: Ah, aaah.
B: It's been two years. So, how many new girls have you had since then?
K: Hmmm... Somewhere around... this? *shows some number using his fingers*
B: THAT MANY!?
K: Ah, uh...
B: How come you had so many of them despite leading a life like ours?
B: Kaz. I'm not going to control everyone's love affairs. You're free to choose. The responsibility is also in your hands.
K: Just what I'd expect from you, Boss-
B: However. I also believe it's important that no one sets a bad example when it comes to their duties and intentions. Do you understand?
K: Hah, I see you're getting a bit red, maybe I should go-
B: Kaz. You, as a deputy commander, should be more sensible.
K: What's with that...
B: Gazelle asked me for some advice. Right after she got back from a mission. She wanted to talk. Ain't she a pretty girl?
K: Well, yeah.
B: Did you do it with her?
K: She said so?
B: By the way. Gazelle said she saw you with Swan. So pretty and yet she works with us, what a waste...
K: Well, as long as she is--
B: You went here with her.
B: You took a shower with her here, huh. You two. Alone.
B: So how was it. I've heard everything. Soap play, huh.
K: Soap play-
B: Tell me!
K: I'm sorry, it was so suddenly-
B: So suddenly? Armadillo saw you two. And Swan was his girlfriend.
B: And was he surprised! That Armadillo, who was so proud of his tank-like balance...
B: ... fell down, huh... So hard, the seagulls on the top of our Mother Base went flying!
(the following part is full of fighting and hard to follow unless you listen to this track while reading it)
B: What happened to chivarly! You're setting bad example, what the hell are you doing?
B: And to think I even have to lecture you on this!
K: I was just stupid that time!
B: Oh really? I know they weren't the only ones you slept with. So, who else was it? Dolphin? Elephant? Do you want me to crush you for all this!?
K: I didn't do anything with them!
B: You bastard! This time, I'll mince you!
B: Won't let you do that!
B: You damn pervert!
B: Don't you move from where you're...
K: Boss, calm down... When it comes to animals, I-*
* I'm guessing he was trying to make some joke here
B: Too bad this is a human society, huh?
B: Snake kiiick!
K: W-W-Waiiit, my neck...
B: Do you feel hot? Doesn't it feel good? This wind...
K: You're... so hot... I can feel it on my back...
B: Kaz, think about it seriously. It's either women, or us.
K: ... Can't I have both?
B: You bastard!
K: What's... wrong... with being... popular!
B: That was a good punch. But that's not enough to beat me.
K: Impressive as always, Boss...
B: What have you got there?
B: Fulton Recovery System? What are you going to do with it?
K: How about flying away, hm, Boss?
B: Apologise to everyone. And be more careful next time.
B: You'll be the one to clean up our sauna. For a whole year.
B: Hey, you all. What are you looking at? Get back to what you were doing.
MY BRAIN IS FRIED, OH KOJIMA
EDIT: CORRECTED A FEW LINES THANKS TO SAPH, IF YOU NOTICE STH ELSE TELL ME, IT'S POSSBILE I MISSED SOMETHING